


coming clean

by Unicornsandrainbows



Series: Be careful what you wish [3]
Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Bathing/Washing, Coming Out, Gen, Trans Jaskier | Dandelion, dumb as fuck geralt of rivia, just... the dumbest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-02-22 22:26:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23967997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unicornsandrainbows/pseuds/Unicornsandrainbows
Summary: Jaskier freezes, soap dripping into the bath water. Then he blinks at Geralt, who is still just staring at him in confusion. Jaskier blinks again. He gets the feeling that he should say something, but really, what do you say to someone who's been travelling with you for two years without realizing that you're trans and then addresses the topic in the rudest way possible? ‘Where is your dick?’?!? That’s a terrible thing to ask, rude even by Geralt’s standards.Jaskier and Geralt have been traveling together for quite a while now. Somehow, Geralt still manages to be the only man on the continet who hasn't at least heard a rumour about Jaskier being trans, until they end up sharing a bathtub.Note: though this is part of a series, it can be read as it's own thing
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Jaskier | Dandelion
Series: Be careful what you wish [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1726543
Comments: 23
Kudos: 285





	coming clean

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ThomasTheMemeEngine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThomasTheMemeEngine/gifts).



> Sometimes you just sit in the kitchen with your roommate talking about just how fucking dumb Geralt can be, even when he tries to be a good guy, and then you end up with things like this. thank you for being an inspiring dumbass, quinn.
> 
> as mentioned in the summary, this work technically belongs to a series, but works totally fine if you read it out of context because it takes place roughly 18 years before the rest of the story starts

They are both positively filthy. Jaskier is sure that he has never felt this disgusting in the last twenty years of his life. Geralt has just killed this – this thing, but not before it had dragged both of them through the smelliest, foulest stinking puddle of mud on the entire continent. It's the first time in almost two years of traveling together that it's Geralt who suggests a bath, with soap and scented oils and stuff. That's how bad it is.

Before they can get back to the inn, though, they need a quick rinse, clothes and all, because no sane human would let them back into their establishment like this, and frankly, Jaskier doubts that one bathtub of water would be enough to get all the mud off anyway.

“Geralt! Wait! The stream we passed earlier, you think we could wash off there? No drowners or anything, no?“, he asks, and Geralt’s grunt sounds affirming enough that he elects to read it as a yes.

“Great! Okay, then let's go back there and get the... bigger chunks of filth off, before we get kicked out of the inn. Sounds good?“

No reply. Jaskier is used to it by now, though, not really expecting the witcher to verbalize any of his thoughts. He just chatters on and on, like he always does, rambling about whatever comes to his mind to fill the silence. He's not sure if Geralt even listens, but a man who mostly talks to his fucking horse can't really say anything about Jaskier talking to himself.

They get to the stream, and though the water is rather cold, watching big chunks of dried soil wash away is nice. Mostly feeling a tiny little bit cleaner is nice. They still stink, though.

“We need to collect the coin“, Geralt says while they leave the stream. They're soaking wet, and smelly, and with the wind picking up they'll freeze if they don't get into a proper hot bath and then into dry, clean clothes soon.

“Geralt, we still reek! I'm cold! Come on, the coin won't run away, we can go to the inn first. Please?“, his exasperated whining gets Geralt to look at him and contemplate their options, at least.

“Fine. But unless you have enough coin to get your own bath drawn, we'll have to share a tub.“

Jaskier sighs in relief. Getting Geralt to listen to reason can be nearly impossible, stubborn as he is, and he doesn't think he'd have the energy to fight about this right now.

“Thank you, I owe you my life, I'm sure by the time we had collected the coin I would've been frozen solid. It'll be a nice change of pace, you know, getting in the tub with you instead of just sitting on the edge and washing your hair, though I admit that I do enjoy washing your hair, is it a witcher thing that it's so soft? Must be, your skin care routine is, frankly, shit, and I wouldn't touch your old soap with a ten foot pike...“

Geralt is already mounting Roach again and Jaskier scrambles to follow him, when he realizes what sharing a bath with Geralt means. It means being naked, in front of Geralt. Geralt, who just sees him as an eccentric, flamboyant man. Because Jaskier has pointedly avoided being naked in front of him so far, and they don't really talk about heir personal lives, and saying 'Hey Geralt, by the way, I should, by all means, have become a girl, but I turned out to be a boy instead, and my parents hired a mage before I hit puberty so I never developed breasts or anything, and I look masculine and all that jazz, but I still don't have a dick, because I didn't want to go through with that spell when the time came and ran away to Oxenfurt to become a bard instead of risking to never have an orgasm again in my life' was very, very personal.

It isn't something he can avoid forever, he tries to reason with himself. And Geralt probably already knows that he's trans anyway. Jaskier is far from being a virgin, and people talk, and Geralt may not be a huge gossip but he does have ears and witcher senses, surely, after all this time, he has caught on. Right? Right. And he hasn't said anything when he found out because Geralt's whole thing is being broody and not talking about things, and also because why would he care about Jaskier's genitals in the first place, it's not like they're about to fuck, they're barely even friends traveling together.

Also, Geralt is old as shit and probably knows about people like him. Hell, even Jaskier knows at least a dozen of other people who, at some point in their life, decided that whatever gender they were assigned at birth is not actually the right one for them. Most people he's slept with at least know transgender people exist, and that not everyone wants to – or can afford to – go to a mage to change their bodies, and it's not something that most people care about, really. Surely Geralt, with all his sense of justice and caring about minorities and morality not only knows about people like him, too, but also accepts it.

He clings onto that thought while they make their way back, while their bath is drawn, while they undress – Jaskier turning his back so he can delay the exact moment Geralt sees him in all of his naked glory for the first time for a few more seconds. He clings to it when he turns around and gets into the hot water.

Nothing happens, at first, because Geralt isn't looking, he's busy washing his hair without getting soap into his eyes. Jaskier suddenly feels stupid for overthinking this. Actually bathing with Geralt is anticlimactic as hell, and he grabs his own soap bar, scented with lemon and lavender and bergamot, because when you grow up smelling nice it's hard to let go of that, but also because it's one of the very few luxuries that don't take up extra space while traveling. 

Then Geralt opens his eyes again and looks at him, his eyes darting over Jaskier's body for some reason that Jaskier doesn't get the chance to consider, because when his eyes wander low enough to look at the parts that are covered by water, he lets out a choked gasp.

“You.. Your... Where is your dick?!“, Geralt gasps, shock obvious on his face, his hands moving to cover his own penis as if someone was about to cut it off and steal it.

Jaskier freezes, soap dripping into the bath water. Then he blinks at Geralt, who is still just staring at him in confusion. Jaskier blinks again. He gets the feeling that he should say something, but really, what do you say to someone who's been travelling with you for two years without realizing that your trans and then addresses the topic in the rudest way possible? ‘Where is your dick?’?!? That’s a terrible thing to ask, rude even by Geralt’s standards.

He should've told Geralt sooner, maybe, but it never feels like the right time to tell someone if you don't plan to fuck, in which case the right time to do it is before going to their room with them to avoid any unwelcome surprises for all parties involved.

Geralt is still staring, but something in his eyes has shifted from confused to sympathetic.

“Are you an... is this because... is it for your voice?“

And now it's Jaskier's turn to look confused. What on earth is Geralt talking about? Why would his voice be the reason he doesn't have a – oh. Geralt thinks he's an eunuch. He really, really needs to say something about this, now, doesn't he?

“Geralt, I'm not an expert, but in my humble opinion, cutting someone's dick off doesn't replace it with a fully functional vagina in most cases, so no, it is not for my voice.“, he says, as matter-of-factly as he can, which isn't a lot right now, but he's trying. They're both trying, probably, Geralt's mental gymnastics taking enough effort that it shows on his face.

“Is it... a curse?“, he asks after a minute of contemplation. His expression has changed again, from sympathy to the face he makes when he's about to offer someone his help with a monster even though there is no contract, the face he makes when he simply wants to help for the sake of helping.

It is then that Jaskier realizes that somehow, Geralt has managed to travel all over the entire continent for centuries without ever knowing that trans people exist. He has some serious explaining to do, probably, except he doesn't feel like explaining his entire existence in a bathtub after a long day. He wants to sit in the tub, scrub his skin red until all he can smell is lemon, bergamot and lavender and then soak in the water until it's getting cold. So instead of answering straight away, he just shakes his head at Geralt, lets out his most exasperated sigh and sinks deeper into the water until his head is beneath the surface and everything is blessedly silent.

He can hold his breath for maybe half a minute before he has to come up again, Geralt looking puzzled once more.

“I'm trans, Geralt“, he says, as if that explains everything, because by all means, it should.

Geralt blinks. Something like recognition flashes over his face, then he frowns in confusion again.

“Aren't there, like, spells to change, hmm, stuff?“

It's such an ignorant thing to say that Jaskier seriously considers drowning himself in the tub for a second. But Geralt just looks so lost, looking at Jaskier as if his whole world view just came crumbling down in a matter of minutes. Jaskier knows that Geralt is a good man. He knows that the question isn't supposed to offend him, Geralt is just confused and curious and trying to understand. It's still ignorant, but it's hard to be angry about it when Geralt looks like this, so Jaskier decides to have some mercy and do a minimum of explaining.

“Yes. Which is why I don't have boobs, and why I grow as much body hair, and a beard, and look like a man, enough so that it took you two years to even realize that I don't have a fucking dick despite this being a known thing. The whole world knows that Jaskier the bard doesn't have a dick, but he lets you choose one from his bag if you let him bed you, and he's great with his fingers, it's a rumour that probably everyone on the fucking continent knows about except you, of course!“

Geralt at least has the decency to look embarrassed after Jaskier's outburst.

“I'm... not a gossip, Jaskier, you know that. I didn't mean to upset you with my ignorance.“

It's about as close to an apology as things get with Geralt, which is enough to pacify Jaskier for now.

“I know. I just... hoped, I guess. Didn't really know how to have this talk with you. If you must know why I got the spells to change the rest of my appearance done but not a dick, it's because all this“, he waves his hands in a broad gesture that vaguely shows that he's referring to his body, „is pretty harmless magic. I got it done before I ever grew into a feminine shape, and while there's still risks involved, it was – is – worth is for me. Changing one's lovemaking parts, however, is a lot more risky, and when I heard about the risks I did what any sensible bard with a healthy sex drive would do, I decided that that's not for me, and ran.“

„Hmm“, Geralt hums. Jaskier thinks it's the hum that he makes when he doesn't know what to say anymore but doesn't want to not say anything either. It's an 'I'm satisfied with these answers' and 'thanks for telling me' and 'the more you know' all at once, and Jaskier relaxes a little. Geralt's hums are a normal thing, and he's just happy to know that this doesn't change things between them. That Geralt still sees him as the man he is, and they can continue to travel together, except that Jaskier doesn't have to worry about undressing in front of his companion anymore.

“Let me wash your hair?“, he offers, because it's another normal thing they do, and Geralt turns around to sit between his legs, lets his head hang and allows Jaskier to carefully work his hands through his hair.

The next morning, they go to collect their coin from the alderman before turning south to follow some rumour about a Kikimora. Jaskier walks next to Roach, strumming on his lute and experimenting with new lyrics for a love song about a baker's daughter he bedded two villages ago, and Geralt stares straight ahead with his usual stoic expression. The birds are singing, and the sun is shining, and it's a day like any other. Jaskier couldn't be happier about yet another boring day of walking. The only difference is that Jaskier can tease Geralt about how rude it is to ask someone what happened to their dick for at least a month.

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on [ tumblr ](https://www.emotionalumami.tumblr.com)


End file.
